Surgery tomorrow...

Just a quick note that surgery is going ahead tomorrow morning with a 7:45am start time.  It should be about 2 1/4 hours in surgery and then home later in the day.  Matthew will be with me in the hospital and Mom & Dad will be "holding down the fort" at home.

Being a "J" I feel much better about "getting this done" than sitting around and waiting any longer.  I am sick with a nasty cold and certainly not at my best going into this - but still ready for next steps and moving forward.

Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers.  We feel so supported and surrounded by friends and family.

Surgery update & changes...

I am in the process of "organizing" again for my last round of chemo.  I had really good news about surgery today and wanted to share.  

I am currently scheduled to have two surgeries on March 3rd - a mastectomy and a right axillary dissection.  I have been quite concerned about having my lymph nodes removed (right axillary dissection).  Although the secondary cancer was found in my axilla lymph node(s), the primary tumor is in my right breast.  Removal of the lymph nodes if often for diagnostic purposes to determine whether chemotherapy and/or radiation therapy will happen.  I am already finishing up chemotherapy and in the process of scheduling radiation therapy this Spring.  There is a very good chance that if I had this surgery - followed by radiation therapy (which was the plan) within 5 years I will start to have long term mobility issues in my right arm.

So, I scheduled an appointment with my surgeon for next week (just in case we needed to change what surgeries we are doing) and met with my oncologist today.  I prepared my arguments against having this surgery and hoped to be convinced otherwise or confirmed in my own assessment.

My oncologist listened to me as he was looking through my chart then looked up and asked me to stop talking.  "My turn to talk" he said.  He then explained that he agreed that I shouldn't be having this surgery.  The lymph nodes that were cancerous have shrunk and are not detectable by touch.  My MRI in December reported that surgery had removed the nodes (radiologist assessing the images assumed surgery had already taken place as there was such a marked difference).  Chemotherapy is doing what it should and Radiation will "mop up" any possible stray cancer cells and deal with them.

So, I will still have a mastectomy on my right breast, but I will not have the second surgery as well.  To be honest it was this other surgery that I was more concerned about, as the mobility issues can be quite severe and they are for life.

A breast, frankly, can be reconstructed.  That I can live with.

Pausing...

Celebrating Matthew's 40th B-Day with Tina

I am sitting in Starbucks with a good drink, good music and catching up on some work.  I realize that there are few days when I have the energy and drive to get a significant amount of work done.  I miss this.  I am plugging away and looking forward to different or renewed rhythms in the coming weeks and months.

We had a visit from Tina (Matthew's sister) last week and enjoyed both the distraction and a chance to visit with her.  Tina is "good people" and we had some enjoyable down time together.

I am winding up this week as I feel the need to be productive and tackle as much as I can for work and home before my final chemo treatment next week.  I have surgery scheduled for 10 days after my last chemo - so don't expect to be "well" again till mid March or later.

I am ready to have the chemotherapy behind me.  

Sunny Vancouver

Family at the Sea Wall in West Vancouver

It is Tuesday morning and I am getting prepared for chemo treatment #5 today.  Matthew is home as Maddie is sick, so it is a bit of a busier house this morning.  I am feeling the anti-nausea drugs start to relax me already and to be frank the sunshine helps as I get ready.  It always helps here in Vancouver.

We had a beautiful sunny day on Sunday.  Finding a parking spot near the beach was worse than the mall at Christmas as everyone was out walking and enjoying the day.  We joined my Mom & Dad and Max the puppy on a family walk.

I am feeling the increased impact of the drugs as we get closer to the end of my chemo.  I do not recover as quickly and I feel weaker each time.  I am still getting back to 70% or so in the last week, but it is still a slow climb.  I met with the plastic surgeon and my oncologist yesterday, so all is on track with surgery March 3rd, and radiation following my recovery.

Maddie & SJ at the beach

Ethan and I did a presentation on Cancer & My Family for his Grade 4 class this week.  This was a great time for he and I to create some presentation slides, do a little research, and talk a fair bit about our family experience and what we would share with his class.  Ethan does a fair bit of his processing out loud so this was a helpful way for him to gain a bit more understanding and reflection on what is going on in our family.  My dad was home, so he came along and video taped the presentation.  Ethan was thrilled to have this "feature" in his class and have his Mom and Grandad at school with him.

I spent a few days at InspireHealth - an Integrated Cancer Care Centre here in Vancouver last week.  It is the only centre of its kind in Canada and I met people from across the country looking at complementary cancer treatments.  It was quite a learning experience and I look forward to continuing my learning and involvement with this group.  

Preparing for Round 4

Paul, SJ & Aaron in the early days...(Fun picture from Mom)

So.... getting my life in order for treatment #4 tomorrow.  We are in the second half of this cycle of chemotherapy and I am grateful that I will have more energy (I hope) for the rest of this treatment.

I have been launching full force into my treatments over the next few months and reading, talking and writing to get all my questions, concerns and thoughts in order.  I met with my oncologist today and had a good productive talk about all the decisions to be made in the coming months.  I am pleased with my doctor and believe he is a good partner and guide in this process.  I still believe that I am responsible, in the end, for the decisions we make, but I am not nieve enough to believe that following the advise of chat rooms is the only way forward.

I am now scheduled for surgery March 3rd.  This will be a mastectomy (right breast) and right auxillary node dissection.  Partial reconstruction will begin at this time and continue through the following month(s).  I expect to continue with radiation therapy shortly after I recover from surgery.  Radiation should be followed by hormone therapy - but there are some further issues my oncologist and I need to work through before I start this phase.  The learning and research never stops!  

There may still be some bends and twists along the way (I can't imagine a reality where this is NOT the case) - however, I do believe being in the midst of treatment (even with the sickness, fatigue and basically nasty side effects) is better than all the waiting and fretting that came before.  I have confidence in my medical team and know that we are travelling in the right direction to see me well and cancer eradicated from my body.

Here we go Round 4.

Holidays and the Return to Routines

We have survived much of the holidays, and actually can boast of having a fairly relaxing time.  I am the "excuse" for everyone to have downtime - but really we all were ready for a quieter and calmer time.   

It is pure bliss right now being in the house all alone.  I am ready for the return to routines.  

The new drugs (yeah!! approved my Matthew's health plan) helped me recover from chemo a lot more quickly this time.  I was feeling quite energized and ready to take on tasks more quickly.  Basically, instead of having 1 good week in the cycle I now have 2.  Quite an improvement.  

I have had a meeting with a plastic surgeon and meet with the surgeon again today, so I am turning my attention to the next series of treatments after chemotherapy.  There are lots of decisions to be made and I can focus on these pieces now with a clearer head - so lots of conversations and gathering of information again.  I am making lists of questions for my oncologist, reading and learning as much as I can and feel like I am ready to address the next stages now.  

Prior to this, coping with the chemotherapy has been all I could get my head around.  

Another good productive week ahead (other than coping with another cold) before my next treatment on January 11th.  

December 9th

I am beginning to enter the productive stage of this treatment cycle.  That is, I can now get up in the morning and help care for my kids, get a few chores done around the house and think about work.

This cycle proved to be more difficult than the last as I got a cold (bronchitis) as I was coming out of my drug fog on Day 4.  We had a trip to the hospital over the weekend as I begin to weaken instead of get stronger and am now on pretty heavy antibiotics.  It is a slow climb out of sickness/weakness again.

I was OK with cutting my hair super short, but now that it is patchy and I am balding it pretty much sucks.  I am wearing scarves, hats and a wig.  I told my kids that I was their pirate mom as I look like a Survivor contestant with my "buff" on my head most of the day.  They are not really concerned about these details and could care less about what is or isn't on my head.  (Note the cute family pictures as I am not going to share numerous pictures of myself at this time!)

School Christmas concerts have been this week, so we have tired grumpy kids worn out from the extra activity.  Tonight we head to Van Dusen Gardens to see the lights with the Canucks Autism Network.  The Gardens are open just for our group (usually packed wall to wall with people), so last year the kids ran wild and we had an amazing time.   Nana and Grandad will be joining us this year.